It’s a sad, sad day today for Directioners—and I know this for a fact as I’m a Directioner myself. Zayn Malik leaving the One Direction band is like taking out ube in a halo-halo; it can still function and taste well as it is, but it’ll never be the same without that missing piece.

Okay. I’m teary-eyed now. Actually, weeping.

Zayn will forever be my second favorite One Direction-er (Liam Payne being the first). He is the sexiest among the boys too, I should say.

When Ginger/Geri Halliwell left Spice Girls, Justin Timberlake dumped ‘NSYNC, or Beyonce went solo without Destiny’s Child, my sentiments then were totally different as theirs were kind of expected. I didn’t really bother to care.

But Zayn, oh Zayn, why do you have to do this now? Why don’t you do it maybe after 10 or 15 years? Not now, when we’re all still totally digging your songs.

Also, why do you really have to take your album’s name “Four” so seriously?

one direction album four

This is when the night really changes. It’ll never be the same.

To pay tribute to One Direction when they were still, sadly, a five-man band, here are 10 of my personal favorites among their songs:

10. Gotta Be You (2011)

9. They Don’t Know About Us (2012)

8. Steal My Girl (2014)

7. Kiss You (2012)

6. You & I (2013)

5. One Way or Another (2013)

4. Story of My Life (2013)

3. Best Song Ever (2013)

2. Little Things (2012)

1. What Makes You Beautiful (2011)

Acoustic version of ‘What Makes You Beautiful’:

and another cutesy version:

Maybe I should loop these in my playlist over and over again for 40 days as I sign of deep mourning? Or maybe, I should just move on. #goodbyeZayn #storyofmylife

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P.S.: I’ll never forget the watch you signed for me in Singapore. (sob!):

one direction watch signed by zayn malik harry style liam payne louis and niall

one direction watch signed

Complimentary watches given to those who purchased VIP tickets to the One Direction: On the Road Again concert in Singapore.

Without Zayn in the band, who will then sing his high parts in the bridges? Who will hit those falsettos? Whooooo?!!?

Well it’s true, things would probably have been worst than this—like Harry Style also quitting, someone dying, or a Direction-er admitting that he is in love with another co-band member. C.A.N.T.T.A.K.E.T.H.I.S.A.N.Y.M.O.R.E.

So I’ll probably just take this as it is. Actually, I still can’t. Another sob.

Best of luck, my boy! 

zayn malik of one direction in a concert