“When was the last time you saw a rainbow?,” he asked. “I don’t know. It must have been ages ago,” I replied.

I went on a friendly catch-up with a Finn some time back and the topic of Northern Lights lured me into knowing him a bit more.

“What could be your rainbows are my Northern Lights back home. It appears quite irregularly every winter just like when you see rainbows after some rainfall, but it still surprises you when you see it,” he quips.

The family backyard where he grew up in Oulanka, Finland bears the same beautiful sky where the Northern Lights frolic around come winter. This is probably the closest I can get to experiencing something this unique: a secondhand story. It’s a shame, I was interested more in the story rather than the person telling it.

We chatted for almost an hour jumping from a salad stop to an after-work watering hole on a Tuesday night. It was more of a non-compelling banter while trying to spark romance. That was the last night I saw him.

Dating in the Tinder world while exciting for many, is exhausting for some (a tiny population which includes constituents like me). In my world, it’s a non-committal nation of endless chase and failures.

You swipe left and right, day in and day out, hoping for a match. But a match doesn’t totally guarantee you a happy ending as it’s just the beginning of multifaceted booby traps: of greetings-and-hellos, of photo trading, of ‘what do you seek here’ line of questioning, of sexual preferences, of personalities & interests, of catfishing, and so many more. 

For men who are not as physically marketable as myself, it’s fatiguing.

While I enjoyed my conversation with a charming Chinese-born-American, eating our 25-dollar glorified eggs for breakfast in a fancy cafe located somewhere in the yellow-toned western neighborhood of Singapore, his San Diego-based PHD and newly established non-profit organization in Bali was too much for my unpretentious self. Plus the fact that he’s already partnered with someone else in the island of the gods makes me more apprehensive — and yet they’re still both open to date other people? I confusingly ask. Although he seems to be engrossed with my indescribable allure, I immediately ran away from the chase.

And then there’s someone who I was attracted to: a young soul who was mature for someone six years my junior, and endearing for a person I just met. Attraction is strong, but consistency becomes our pitfall. What now – a question that keeps bugging my head. What do you do next when no one even dares to ask? Should everything just remain as is: platonic-ly plateuing? Another Summer to Tom’s 500 Days?

Someone likes you, but you don’t like them back. There’s someone you might like, but it’s nothing more than casual. Oh, what a world.

Once again, I remember the rainbow question: ‘When was the last time I saw one?’ I don’t know. I don’t even remember when.

Just like the rainbow, this special someone might just pop by sooner that I expect it to be. It might come as a surprise. All I have to do now is wait.

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